I recently read a beautiful book that made my heart swell with hope. I’ve been through some hopeless times this past year. I took others with me to those dark places. But I climbed out of that dismal hole long ago and walk towards the brilliant light of His grace. I feel the depth of salvation, redemption, liberation and restoration. All important – all of which I will continue to work towards. The book I speak of is yet another gem by Brennan Manning, entitled The Wisdom of Tenderness. The tag line goes: “what happens when God’s fierce mercy transforms our lives.”

A selection from the text of Manning’s book:

“The heart enveloped in the tenderness of God passes that tenderness around indiscriminately, making no distinction between the worthy and the unworthy[...]“

He goes on to describe how the power of warmth, dropping pretentious piety among the common, can disband disdain and open the possibility of fostering self-worth in others.

Mentally, I grouped Manning’s tip into all of the self-hyphens (i.e. self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-reliance – a la Emerson’s essay for transcendentalism).I struggle with several of the “self-_____.”  I am a member of a self-driven society and have been taught by amazing parents to be self-motivated. This becomes a Luke 9:23 versus Hebrews 10:35 discussion. The line that separates self-denial to follow Him with self-confidence in that He will reward your faithfulness seems blurred to many but must coexist. Too often followers, myself included, drift into the enticing self-confidence bubble where it feels safe, breeds comfort and…hate to say it…pride. Who hasn’t heard the phrase “comfortable Christian” or something of that nature? I’ve been snubbed by a prideful believer before and have done my share of snubbing, too. Amazing the affect that an overflow of self-confidence could have on the self-worth of another.

The irony of it all is this: I consider myself uneducated in Biblical texts. I read, yes. I absorb. I’m an English teacher and booklover, for pete’s sake. I will never claim, through this blog or in the flesh, that I am well-versed in the areas of theology and beliefs. I write about all of this because I had some of my own identity crises as of late. The self-hyphens boggle me. Guess I needed to participate in some self-narration via this little plot of virtual space I call my own.

A little tidbit of information that I remember from the mandatory art appreciation class – though I wish my schedule had allowed for more art classes – was about the post-impressionist self-portraits of Van Gogh. He constantly tried to reproduce what he saw in the mirror but no two paintings were identical. Glean what moral you want from that fact after throwing all my ramblings on self-____ at you.

“Every change in the quality of a person’s life must grow out of a change in his or her vision of reality.” – B. Manning

p.s. Today’s Soul Pancake Challenge fits perfectly with this post. Check it, yo.